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What Dreams May Come

By day, Karen Slavick-Lennard’s husband, Adam, is a mild-mannered Englishman. But when night falls, Adam’s subconscious takes over, and it’s got a lot to say. From musings on vampire penguins to vicious insults that could make Simon Cowell cry, the “Sleep Talkin’ Man’s” nighttime meditations are at turns crass, cruel, and nonsensical – but always hilarious. Lucky for us his very understanding wife records these sayings and posts the audio on a blog for all of us to enjoy.

Sleep Talkin’ fans can purchase a range of apparel – from panties to onesies – that feature some of his best sleepy soliloquies. Whether you prefer frank advice (“Don’t leave the duck there, it’s totally irresponsible.”), calls to action (“Jellyfish are attacking! Everybody grab your ice cream guns.”), or theology (“If Jesus loves me, he can join the queue with everybody else.”), there’s something for everyone.


Go With the Flow

Ah, bottled water - I think we all know by now that paying a buck-fifty for 12 oz. of Cleveland municipal’s finest tap water is dumb, and more and more people are filling up reusable water bottles with their own home-filtered brew. However, water boot-leggers face their own challenges. It turns out even reusable plastic bottles labeled “BPA-free” can still leach questionable stuff into your water. Not to mention keeping that bottle clean can be chore.

Alexbottle solves both problems with its line of metal water bottles. Each can be unscrewed along threads halfway down the body, allowing even the chubbiest sausage fingers to give it a good scrubbing. The design also allows the space-conscious to fit the bottom half in the top for storage.

The stainless steel bottles come in a Mac-worthy white, glossy black, and in lustrous, unpainted finish. Each is available with a range of bright trim colors. The company encourages mixing and matching of colors and sizes. $25.95 to $29.95 at Click here to purchase from

I Smell a Hit

Last issue, when reviewing Phillips’ Ambx home entertainment system - which uses ambient lighting and fans to further immerse you in your movies, music, and games, I made a crack about “smell-o-vision” being the future of your living room experience. Now, thanks to Scent Sciences Corporation, that punch-line is reality. With a properly programmed Blu-ray or game, the ScentScape can match on the on-screen action by releasing one or more of 20 scents stored on board. Leaving it on while playing Farmville is not recommended. $69.95 at


Cold Looks

Sure, right now most people feel like they never want to see snow again, but we know that by next year the slopes will still be crowded with eager snow bunnies. Whether you rock the double-diamond or slide face-first down the lodge’s driveway, next year you should pack a pair of Zeal-Optics’ Transcend goggles. Their built-in display and GPS system can tell you your speed, altitude, and position in real time. Not to worry, though, all that techno-geekery is wrapped in a shell stylish enough for any hard-core carver. Click here to purchase from


Two and a Half Bulbs

Feeling left out? Like no one appreciates your tiger blood? Shine a light on just how special you are with this 1940s Hollywood Studio Floor Lamp from Restoration Hardware. Sure, this 8-foot ode to film history rings up as a cool $2000, but that’s mere pocket change for a Vatican assassin warlock like you. The trolls may not appreciate its solid cast aluminum and steel casing, but you know this lovingly-crafted replica of a fab-40s era Fresnel studio lamp is the perfect lighting for your latest YouTube torpedo against all those gnarly gnarlingtons who can’t handle your winning attitude. $1995 at

Keeping Your Feet Planted

It’s not easy being green, especially when it comes to style. You want to help Mother Earth, but you don’t want to look like a patchouli chump. The good people at Oat Shoes have your kicks covered, at least. They offer a range of shoes that are fully compostable. After they wear out, just toss them in with the coffee grounds and banana peels. It took the company over two years to find materials light and resilient enough to use in shoes, yet were still biodegradable. Although they are not available in stores yet, Oat promises the shoes will be available with your choice of red, blue, green, or yellow sole.

Inflated Egoghs

Sure, Vincent Van Gogh’s original “Starry Night” is a priceless work by an artistic genius. But can it fit in a can for easy transport? Is it waterproof? Can it float? Moreover, can you get it for $11.95 plus shipping? I didn’t think so. Luckily, Archie McPhee’s “Inflatable Van Gogh in a Can” is there for all those who want to class up their cubicle without making Interpol’s most wanted for art theft. Unlike expensive prints, you can deflate and crumple both painting and frame into its 4” tall tin. Ear not included. Click here to purchase from

Give ‘til it Hertz

Friends, I’d like to talk with you a moment about an issue near and dear to my heart: battery failure. Each year millions of cell phones fall silent, thousands of games go unsaved, and countless iPods go dark because of this quiet scourge. Sullen teenagers everywhere suddenly have to interact with embarrassing parents as their technological world crumbles to pieces. But there is good news, friend. For the price of a tank of gas, you can ensure that a child has extra time to beat that next level, or to find out if Madison and Tucker are broken up for real this time, because they will have the Universal Gadget Wrist Charger. This simple black bracelet stores extra juice that can sustain even the thirstiest gadget in an emergency.

With your help, we can save children like little 17-year-old Thomas over here, who had to endure a lecture about the value of compound interest when his iPhone died in the middle of Avatar. If you’d like to help children like Thomas, please go to with a donation of $34.99. Thank you.


Your New Best Friend

If you’ve got an electric or hybrid car: congratu-freakin’-lations. The rest of us mere mortals still have to put up with strangely soaring pump prices. No matter what you drive, it’s easy to feel at the mercy of the gasoline gods when you pull up to the one-armed bandit. Fight back with’s iPhone and Android app, which lets users submit info about where to find the lowest gas prices in your area. The best part? It’s free. Available on Apples app store, the Android Market, and


Finger Clickin’ Good

Your slick new phone may look incredible, but you certainly don’t feel that cool as you hunt and peck tiny letters on the screen’s keyboard. If your butterfingers leave you pining for the full QWERTY experience, then you might want to check out Celluon’s Magic Cube. The small device projects a full-sized keyboard onto any flat surface. Type on this red-etched keyboard and a sensor measures your finger position and relays the appropriate letter to your iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, or any other Bluetooth compatible device. It even plays a “click” sound for you old fogeys out there. The VKB is even available in a variety of colors – that “My Little Pony” pink will really go great with your office presentations. / Issue 122 - September 6655
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