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Recently I was wandering around the internet looking for a water bowl with one flat side that I could hang on the wire of my dog’s crate. After countless spills of my pet’s regular round bowl, I got truly tired of cleaning up the liquid mess. Fortunately, I came upon an awesome London-based website named, which not only had the best wares and gadgets ever (those Brits rule when it comes to gear for pets), but also had some of the funniest dog jokes I’ve ever read......or heard. Here’s an example!

Reasons to buy a dog instead of getting married.
 If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him, and never say its not quite as good as his mother's

.... Then buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want

.... Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

.... Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who is happy to get on your bed just to warm your feet, and who you can push off if he snores

..... Then buy a dog!

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally

....  Then buy a dog.
But on the other hand.


If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness....

.... Then buy a cat!
Now be honest, you thought I was gonna' say... Marry a man, didn't you?

Check out our all-new How To Die Laughing Column each month, or at least as often as we can find jokes worth dying for. By the way, if you know any jokes like that, please, please, please send them to us at! Thanks!

To check out all the marvelous items that Croftonline sells, go to or e-mail them at with any requests. / Issue 188 - August 2018
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