I write about television, so therefore, I think about television. What I like, what I don’t, why something I liked turns into something I don’t. The pleasure of finding a program I can’t wait to see week to week. The admiration I have for producers and writers who figure out how to make an OK show more than OK.
And then, of course, there are the musings. These are the random thoughts I have about things I don’t get, things that drive me crazy, which, I presume, might be making you crazy too.
I imagine that you, Dear Reader, have equally passionate opinions (feel free to share, as I like to think of this column as interactive) about the television you watch.
So with proper credit due to Arsenio Hall, who coined the following phrase, here is a list of my thoughts about the current state of television… things that make me go ‘Hmmmmmmm,’ like…<.P>
UGLY BETTY… Simply put, this show makes me smile, and it makes me smile because of how well-done it is. If you’re not watching, please do. If you think everything you’ve heard and read is hype, and that’s why you’re not watching, trust me. It’s only hype if there is more sizzle than substance. Not the case here.
Betty (America Ferrera) is a young Latina from Queens who goes to work for the new editor-in-chief of the hot fashion magazine Mode (think Vogue)….and she’s hired, not because of her general smarts, winsome personality, and good nature, but because the publisher, Bradford Meade (Alan Dale) thinks that the homely Betty is the one assistant his newly promoted son Daniel (Eric Mabius) won’t want to bed.
Daniel, the playboy in the Meade family, has been promoted after the untimely accidental death of the other Meade son, and in truth, his father thinks Daniel won’t be able to cut it. Wilhelmina Slater (Vanessa Williams), Mod’s venal creative director, hopes Bradford’s right. She feels that control of the magazine is rightly hers, and with the help of her sly, scheming assistant Marc (Michael Urie), she’s determined to wrest it from Daniel. Of course, Betty is Daniel’s protector against all this plotting, and of course, Daniel quickly realizes how lucky he is to have Betty—their relationship is possibly the only genuine one in his life.
Shot in bright, bold colors that only serve to heighten the arch tone of the show, UGLY BETTY is rich in character. As I mentioned in my Fall TV Preview, Ferrera is a true star – she lights Betty from within, and you immediately fall in love. What seemed like a simple premise—beautiful-on-the inside, fish-out-of-water heroine wins everyone over—also seemed problematic. Where could the writers and executive producer Salma Hayek (and sometimes star) go with this and still keep us hooked?
Silly me.They have impressed with the path they have put Betty on, and they have enriched every episode by going home to Queens with her, where we find Betty’s support system— her doting but complex father (Tony Plana); her sister (Ana Ortiz), a plucky single mom, and in particular, the adorable Mark Indelicato as Betty’s nephew Justin, who worships Gene Kelly, can recognize last year’s Choos from a mile away, and whose differences are celebrated by the people who love him. Is there any wonder why Betty is able to traverse the mean-spirited corridors of Mode magazine with grace and confidence with a family like this behind her?
On the magazine side, Williams and Urie are a hoot, a perfectly toxic Martin and Lewis/Abbott and Costello, a devious and delicious duo with impeccable comic timing. The tart Ashley Jensen as Christina, Mode’s Scottish seamstress, Betty’s only true friend, is also a gem. Guest appearances by Judith Light as Daniel’s alcoholic mother have been impressive and effecting. And perhaps the most wonderful turn is provided by the hatefully gorgeous Becki Newton as the bitchy Mode receptionist and Daniel cast-off, who beneath that shallow exterior, lurks an even shallower interior…and yet, she finds a way to show you her heart. That’s hard to do. [Note: I am not making this up. I am writing this from a hotel room in New York City, on one of the coldest days ever in the city. I go downstairs to wait for some friends. A young woman walks past me. I see her in profile. It is Beckie Newton, whom I do not know. I say: “Beckie?” and she turns. I explain what I have just written about her. She is absolutely delightful. “When people come up to me and say ‘I think your show is so great,’ I say: “I know, isn’t it? I know I should just say thank you, but I am so surprised to be working on it, I can’t help myself. I mean, just a year ago, I couldn’t afford to buy shoes.”]
The subplot that all along I have considered superfluous and distracting is about to come to the forefront of the show, involving the mysterious bandaged woman we have seen only in shadow as she conspires with Wilhelmina. For weeks, we have assumed it was Bradford Meade’s mistress, but in a “what the heck?” twist, the bandages have come off to reveal Rebecca Romijn – the very not dead Meade brother Alex. Yeah, I said brother. It will take skillful writing to bring us along on this ride –but if anyone can do it, the creative minds behind UGLY BETTY can.
THE GREY’S ANATOMY CONTROVERSY…It started with words of anger between two actors on one of the hottest shows on television and ended in words of hatred. Patrick Dempsey, Dr. McDreamy, and Isaiah Washington, who stars as the talented surgeon Dr. Burke, scuffled on the set, and the argument soon disintegrated, with Washington calling fellow actor TR Knight “a “faggot.” Knight, the fresh-faced actor who plays the lovable George O’Malley, up until then had not publicly acknowledged his sexual orientation, so with one slur, Washington had outed his co-star.
My take on this? Shame on Shonda Rimes, the executive producer. Let’s put it this way—if Knight had called Washington “nigger” – and I write that on purpose, rather than soft- pedaling it by using the “n word,” Knight would not have a job. Plain and simple, he’d be gone.
When will we stop hurling hateful invectives at one another? When will the f-words, and n-words and c-words we use all carry the same import? And when will the people who use these words be put under exactly the same pressure to stop, no matter which one they uttered?
I WONDER WHAT ROSIE O’DONNELL SAID TODAY?... You either love Rosie or hate her…there seems to be no middle ground of feeling toward this woman…but you have to admit, she has single-handedly made THE VIEW’s hot topics water cooler conversation again (the question is, was it ever really that hot before?) With her out-there, sometimes right, sometimes righteous and sometimes ridiculous pronouncements (she does have a tendency to get disproportionately angry sometimes, which makes this viewer wince), O’Donnell has blasted THE VIEW out of its unwatchable, unbearable malaise, just by having an opinion…which supposedly, as Barbara Walters keeps insisting, was the premise of the gabfest in the first place. There’s nothing Rosie can do to help Elisabeth make any sense (this young woman should just stop talking until she gains enough life experience to develop any solid opinions about anything), but Rosie proves every weekday morning that if you want to make good television, you can’t play it safe.
AMERICAN IDOL…Yes, the numbers are huge. Again. Yes, the judges are mean. Again. Yes, Paula is weird. Again. But I think there’s going to be a backlash against the producers, who seem to think we have an infinite capacity for snickering at the tone-deaf clowns who are delusional about their “talent,” or just want their 15 seconds of Simon. (We all like to watch train wrecks, but come on…) Worse still is the exploitation of certain contestants who do not seem to have the mental capacity to know they are humiliating themselves. The producers should be ashamed for pretending not to recognize the difference among the contestants, and we should be ashamed of ourselves for watching…because by doing so, we give them tacit approval for their deliberate cruelty.
AND THE PASSWORD IS…wWhen I get the flu, besides chicken soup and hot tea, I count on reruns of “I Love Lucy” to get me through. Lucy and The Game Show Network…the TV equivalent of “Chicken Soup For The Soul”. My favorite show on TGN? “PASSWORD PLUS”. First of all, there simply has never been a more charming, more suited, more erudite, more elegant game show host than the late Allen Ludden. He’s not a traffic cop, or a comedian with nowhere else to perform. I love this man, and can certainly understand why Betty White married him. (Talk about a golden couple!)
But it is the game itself that I adore. PASSWORD PLUS was a celebration of words, and I mourn the fact that today, game shows are a celebration of …greed. It takes no skill to pick a suitcase, or agree/disagree with a mob. On PASSWORD PLUS, there were no flashing lights or dramatic music, and the top prize for winning a puzzle was a few hundred dollars. But the game was riveting, involving and you could play along at home just by closing your eyes.
REALITY DONE RIGHT…If you have resisted the reality show ride, there is a way to climb aboard without being embarrassed about it. Three shows on BRAVO that get it right – for the simple reason they are truly talent competitions—are PROJECT RUNWAY, TOP CHEF and the newest entry, TOP DESIGN.
Here’s how they work: in PROJECT RUNWAY, designers make beautiful clothes in impossible situations, with teeny budgets, the models then strut their stuff (literally), somebody wins the challenge, somebody loses. Tim Gunn who is a big shot at the Parsons School of Design, shepherds the competitors. He says: “Make it work” a lot. He’s way cool, and then Heidi Klum kicks them to the curb.
In TOP CHEF, contestants with different levels of skill in the kitchen cook in impossible situations, with teeny budgets, the meals are eaten, somebody wins, somebody packs their knives and goes, this time given the heave-ho by Salman Rushdie’s very hot current wife, who replaced Billy Joel’s current hot wife from last season. My favorite challenge: the chefs have to create an amuse bouche from ingredients found only in a vending machine.Way fun.
On TOP DESIGN well, I think you get the idea.
From week to week, I can’t wait to see which designer, chef or decorator is going to be eliminated. Sure, the producers manufacture jealousies and rivalries, they assign villain and hero roles, but none of these contestants would be on the shows without real ability, and what they can do that I would never been able to is what keeps me watching.
BROTHERS AND SISTERS…Sunday nights on ABC. Great cast. Good writing. Dysfunction made fun. And Rob Lowe resurfaces as one sexy republican Senator. There was a lot of muttering back in the Fall because there was tweaking and hiring and firing (Sally Field replaced Betty Buckley as the family matriarch. Hmmmm….Gidget…a matriarch?) Turned out to be much ado about nothing. This is the perfect Sunday show, on a night when you just want to transition gently into back-to-work Monday. I miss EVERWOOD, but I am glad that the guy who created that show, created this show. (And if you miss Emily Van Camp, who played the incandescent but troubled Amy on EVERWOOD, she’s joining this cast as the love child of Sally Field’s dead husband)
24…Have no idea what’s happening on this show. But yet, I care. Love Jack. Love Chloe.
LOST…Have no idea what’s going on with this show. Don’t care. Love Jack. Wish there was a Chloe.
THE NINE and SIX DEGREES…These were my two favorite shows for the Fall. They are now gone, cancelled, muerto, deader than a carp, which is why I always start off my new season reviews by saying “What the heck do I know?”….Okay, SIX DEGREES got a little bogged down, but I’d rather watch Campbell Scott than some of the other pretty boys I could mention who work all the time in prime time, and I liked the premise that we’re all connected, even if we don’t know we are.
But THE NINE was a terrific show, following the lives of 9 men and women who were held hostage in a bank. The show began with their release, so we were not sure what exactly happened to them inside that bank. The back story was being slowly parceled out…in teaspoons, if you will. And damn it, why can’t anything with Tim Daly stay on the air?
OPRAH…When Oprah came back this season, she showed many snippets from her road trip across the country with best friend Gayle King. Am I the only one who thought Oprah came across as a spoiled, privileged person out of touch with how the rest of us live? Her producers included footage of Oprah insulting the proprietor of a family-owned teepee motel, which she could not bring herself to inhabit for even one night. What were the producers thinking? Did they want to show their boss behaving badly, or do they not recognize rudeness when they see it? And as a person who drives and sings along with the radio all the time, here’s my other question…how could Oprah have known Gayle for all these years and not known she likes to sing in the car? Here’s to Gayle’s independence and indomitable spirit, and for loving her best friend despite her shortcomings. The road trip showed the human side of Oprah…the not-so-nice side we all display from time-to-time….but the only thing that bothered me is what Oprah blamed on “road trip crankiness” was a little more than that.
THE LIFE…Is the name of an NBC pilot which, if it gets picked up, will air sometime this year or next. It is about a cop wrongly accused of a crime who returns to the force. The reason I mention it is because it stars Damien Lewis (“Band of Brothers”) and Adam Arkin (“Chicago Hope”). Having said that, if this show is not on the NBC 2007-2008 schedule, it will be because someone who was smart enough to cast these two exceptional actors then proceeded to screw it up big time.
AND THE GOLDEN GLOBE (OR FILL IN THE NAME OF ANY AWARD) GOES TO…What is it with these accomplished actors who lose all ability to speak when they win something? Even if they do rely on scripted monologues to impress us, must they pretend not to be prepared every time they step up to the podium? Trust us, we would rather have you read from a scrap of paper, although why you can’t memorize a few short words of thanks when you memorize pages and pages of dialogue for a living…oh, never mind.
I am going to break with the politically correct protocol of not declaring a winner in the acceptance speech category. The winner in the category of literate, charming, witty acceptance speeches is…HUGH LAURIE.
When the Brit, the very accomplished star of HOUSE, claimed a Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Drama not too long ago, he thanked the best crew in the business, as generous actors are wont to do, but then he waxed for a bit on the improbability of this. Lest I give his words short shrift, here’s how he began:
“I am speechless. I’m literally without a speech. It seems odd to me that in the weeks leading up to this event, when people are falling over themselves to send you free shoes and free cufflinks and free colonic irrigations for two, nobody offers you a free acceptance speech. It just seems to me to be a gap in the market. I would love to be able to pull out a speech by Dolce & Gabbana.”
And then he thanked his “truly wonderful crew”. I know everyone says they have a wonderful crew, and logically that can’t be the case. They can’t all be wonderful. Somebody, somewhere, is working with a crew of drunken thieves. But it’s not me. They are truly a wonderful collection of people... and they smell of newly mown grass.”
It just doesn’t get any better than that.
